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Why I hate cleaning

Posted on Nov 27, 2015 | 16 comments


We have just moved house and have to hand back the keys to the old one at the end of this week. This means I have to clean. Mirrors, tiles, floors, sinks, everything.

The problem is that I only ever have a major blitz when there’s someone coming to stay, because mess is quite comforting, because I am always ‘too busy’ to do more than wipe the sides down after cooking, and, because I really hate cleaning.

There are a number of reasons for this, but no.1 on my hate list is that no-one ever notices you have done it. Ever. For example, I clean the shower and the toilet, sweep and mop the floor in our open plan kitchen/diner/lounge and do 2 loads of washing and the washing up. Will my children run in from school proclaiming that they are thrilled with the shiny toilet bowl or that they are so pleased that their blue pants are clean. No. They will hang their coats on the floor, tip out the entire contents of the lego box and start playing a noisy game. Leading me on to…

no.2. As soon as you’ve done it, it gets messed up again. I have to say that I have tried in vain to operate a Lego management system, mostly by moving it all into a separate room so I can at least shut the door on it, but even then, like all of us Lego Mammas I manage to get a bit stuck in the sole of my foot at least once a day. The worst one was the head of a mammoth with tusks. Ouch.

no. 3. Other people always seem to do a better job. I will never forget the day I really realised that I was quite untidy… when my friend’s 3 year old daughter told me in no uncertain terms that she was appalled at the mud splattered up my stairwell. It was shortly after that, that my friend started cleaning for me. That only lasted for as long as we lived in that house. When we moved areas, I didn’t get another person to clean, for the simple reason that you have to clean before the cleaner comes and what is the bloody point in that? I have already said that I hate cleaning. Duh.

There is obviously something to be said for clean people and their immaculate houses, I really respect them… my friend (from three beds in three days) is one of these special people. He loves nothing more than spending a whole day removing dust particles from every tiny nook and cranny of his spotless apartment.

But, because he is so clean, he never gets to experience the genuine mystery of trying to work out what that solid sticky patch on the floor is as you scrape at it with a knife, trying not to remove the laminate. He misses out because he will never have a mug on his desk which hasn’t been washed for godknowshowlong and which now has an rather pretty but vicious smelling purple and green growth in it. And you can guarantee that he will never ever be able to recite the story of when his Mum found 3 weeks worth of uneaten sandwiches festering under his bed. (This was my brother, not me, but for the purposes of this story I am stealing it).

My friend messaged me yesterday to say he wished he could come and help me with the clean up operation, I wish he could too – so far, I have found 2 dried up piles of dog vomit, green crayon behind my son’s bed and a massive scratch under where the boy’s rug was… It’s going to be a long week.

 

Pink Pear Bear

16 Comments

  1. So, I spent over an hour cleaning our kettle. Descaled it t w i c e with vinegar. Wiped the outside with Cif. Cleaned the little stickey-outey I and O symbols on the switch with a cotton wool bud. Do I hear “Well darling that looks good”
    To quote Gret “no-one ever notices you have done it”.

    Not quite true, but they do manage to find the bit on the handle where the scale is so stuck on it won’t come off.

  2. Cooking is the same. You only eat it and have to start again!

  3. its a daily battle!
    I clean, I tidy, the boys come home and its like I’ve done nothing.
    Really its a pointless task!

    Good luck with the clean up, I hope it goes well xx

    • Thank you, I am currently procrastinating with a cup of tea and having a very important conversation on the phone with my sister about the best way to clean soap ingrained in the grout off bathroom tiles

  4. I’m so with you on this! I used to work as a hospital cleaner in my teens and that wasn’t so bad – you’d clean a room, then not see it again until the next day so you could imagine it had stayed pristine for more than two minutes. At home, I clean and within the blink of an eye (or so it seems) it’s just as messy and dirty as it was before I started… #bigpinklink

    • Surprisingly (haha) a cleaning job is not something I have on my CV!! I wonder why? I personally think of cleaners as kind of angels who come when you have left for the day and sprinkle magic dust to make everything all lovely again for the next day.

  5. Haha I love this. Literally feel like I should be presented with champagne and chocolates every time I vacuum. I really detest cleaning, I would love to have a cleaner but I can’t justify it when really I’ve got the time just not the inclination!! Definitely only clean properly when we have friends coming over though haha. #bigpinklink

    • Ooh I like that idea! Rewards for cleaning, like a grown up sticker chart

      • Yes!! That’s exactly what it should be like. You get a slap up meal if you clean the tiles and doors. Hehe.

  6. Oh I feel your pain – I hate cleaning too but when it’s not even for your benefit really grates – ouch, ouch, ouch! Very very entertaining post and yes, I think i’d want a friend to help out too – hope you don’t get anymore nasty surprises! #bigpinklink

    • I cleaned the oven last night, it was not a surprise, but it was nasty. Having a day off today…

  7. I have a friend that nannied for me for a summer. She would never put the tv on, create delicious and nutritional meals, do the washing AND put it all away in the right place! She is super human. Your post made me howl laughing. I must show it to my husband as he seems to think our house is worse then anyone elses’. (It’s so not, he just doesn’t realise that everyone cleans up before you have visitors!!) Thanks for linking up! #bigpinklink

    • You have my every sympathy as you embark on your deep clean. I hate cleaning too and the worst part is, as you say, that no one ever notices when you have done it. #bigpinklink

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