Mum, why hasn’t the cat got a willy?
This was my 5 year old’s question to me at bedtime. He started off by asking me an innocent enough question: ‘Is the cat a girl?’ and I had said ‘no, a boy’ and then came the killer question…
The 5 year old has apparently noticed that the cat does not have a willy because he has been looking. Poor bloody cat. God only knows what kind of examination a 5 year old gives a cat to check the whereabouts of its genitalia. I dread to think.
So I said (not thinking through my answer): he is a boy, but he had it chopped off.
5 year old: Why?
Me (still not thinking): So he can’t have any babies.
At which point the 8 year old joins the conversation: But Mum, only ladies can have babies.
Me (thinking shite on a bike, what did I go and say that for): Errr, well you need a Daddy and a Mummy to have a baby. (I would like to profusely apologise to everyone out there who is reading this and thinking, what about same sex couples, surrogacy etc? I panicked. I had not had a gin, I was tired).
8 year old: But Mum,…
Me (at warp speed and sounding like I am a bit crazy): Who wants some milk then? and where on earth did I put that Harry Potter book, oh look, there it is, shall we get on with the next chapter then? Where did we get up to last night? Oh here we are look, good, right, into bed now, come on.
Jeez. I read about Harry Potter being selected to take part in the Triwizard tournament at light speed and still panicking slightly, go straight to the internet to see if I have ruined my children’s lives.
The outcome is: FPA (The UK Family Planning Association says I can talk about sex with my 5-8 year olds). Phew. So does an American organisation Advocates for youth who have a really useful parents Sex Education centre.
And then I found this post from Geek Dad – Top 10 Sex Ed books for the modern parent. And although it’s from 2014, it seemed like the best thing google could offer me – so I have bought 3 of the books on the list.
I’ll let you know how I (and the cat) get on.